Got up a little later than I wanted to this morning, since the kids are out of school for the summer I haven't been so motivated in the mornings. Now that my evenings are somewhat free again I am trying to make time to get back into my Chronological Bible Reading's. I am a month behind! I was taking an evening class that was 3 night's a week and had to buckle down and get some study time in. That's over and I passed the class so back to the bible study.
I have decided to get up an hour earlier in the mornings to do my readings. Once I am done with that I can get on with my morning routine. So, that is what I did this morning. Sometimes readjusting a schedule is a very hard task for me. I wish at times I was more of a spur of the moment type person. I find though as I get older, I am getting better.
Made it to the gym this afternoon, got in 45 minutes of cardio and did weights. Went to weigh in for the contest and found out it is the 1st and 15th of the month. It will be Wednesday then, the first. I was taking Belly Dancing for awhile back in 2007, I have decided it is time to get back to it. I really did enjoy it, and not really sure why I ever stopped. Well, maybe I do, who am I fooling! 2007 is when my whole spiral down started happening! Pull up a couch and get some coffee.......................
I had made it to 173 lbs in May of 2007. If you go back to my "OLDER" post you can sort of catch up on the whole numbers thing. Any how, I was looking so forward to two things that were coming up at the end of June and the the first week of July. End of June 2007 my 20 year high school reunion. Because of some issues with my step dad in my 12th grade year I sort of left right after graduation to move to VA. My step dad was an alcoholic and was WEIRD and could be abusive at times. So, I didn't really enjoy my last year of school so much, just wanted to get the heck out of dodge. I moved her to live with my Dad and step Mom. OK, so wanted to go to my reunion see some old friends and to be nosy and see what everyone was looking like! I was somewhat proud of myself, I weighed less than I did in high school. You can read some older post for that story as well. I had my tan going on, I was feeling pretty good!!! The week after the reunion, me and my family were leaving on a cruise for our vacation! YAY, couldn't wait!!! Goal was to get to 169 by the end of July, pretty reasonable goal.
I have a daughter who is now 17 but at the time she was 15. Couldn't ask for a better child. Always helpful, did pretty good in school, had plenty of after school activities, not a real smart mouth (yet), just a real good girl. She had started high school that year, coming from a catholic school to public school. Just really got mixed up some real JERKS! No signs were really present to lead us to believe she was going through some rough times. Never missed school, no tardies, grades were great, and nothing out of the ordinary. Until one morning, my husband had to work overnight and came home at 6 A.M. in the morning. He came in to get me and go outside to see something, I went back out with him and her bedroom window was cracked and a milk crate was sitting on the ground. I go back in to see what the heck was going on and she is GONE! I really can't tell you exactly how I felt at that time. So many things had went through my head, did she sneak out, and where did she go. I never want to feel those feelings again, the worse day of my life EVER! Those next 2-3 hours seemed to last forever. As the world was waking up and going on, mine was falling apart. Well, she did come home with in the half hour of knowing she wasn't there. I wanted to knock the **** out of her, I wanted to hug her, I wasn't sure what to do. I never in a million years would have thought that she would ever do that! Okay, so she snuck out to be with a boy and there are many other things that happened and it still to this day haunts me, BUT the good news is, I think we have 99% recovered. We are building back the trust and all that was damaged. In all my life I always heard people say how hard it is to build and gain trust back. Never really understood what it REALLY meant. Never had that happen to me personally. NOW.......I know! If you ever have ANY problems with teenagers, message me! I am stronger now, no one can hurt me,,,,, I have 2 of THEM! Seriously though I am here.
Counseling sessions, hurt, not sure if we as parents were making right decisions, feeling like failures and all the other things got in the way of my weight loss efforts. Oh yeah, back to me, kids and parenting should be a whole other blog! And little at a time here came an ounce or two, sometimes a pound. Seems like it took me forever to recover, trying to just get a pound off at times. 2008 was real roller coaster...I was taking care of my Mom, she had some medical issues. My Dad was working for a contracting company so he was off in Iraq and I was keeping up with his finances, home and dog. I was going to college trying to concentrate on my classes. Besides running a daycare in my home. Life was CRAZY! The biggest thing of all, now that I look back. As a family, in 2007 we had decided to try out some new churches and along with that had gotten out of the word, out of church and you see that's when everything went down hill. Finding a new church can sometimes be uncomfortable especially when you have gotten into such a routine. But, in August of 2008 we made that BIG step and have felt really good about the decision. I think by the end of 2008 we were finally feeling some peace as a family again. It really is learning how to balance life, and slowing down, making time to breath, relax and enjoy the day.
I have gotten WAY off track! So, my point is,do I really have one? Who knows! So, I want to get back to the things that I was enjoying on my weight loss journey. Make it fun, so I am going to get back to belly dance, big belly or not! I want to feel good about myself again. I just have to learn to stand before I can walk, walk before I can run my race. You can catch all that on an older post as well, if you want...... Okay so off to my race!
Terri
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